Me elated at the response to the fundraising auction.
Last February over a hundred of you overwhelmed me with your support when you helped me raise the funds to attend a two week expressive arts work/study with survivors of human trafficking in Nepal. I was so amazed by the sense of community that I wanted to bring you all along with me by sharing my story with you in real time.
When I got there, limited free time, wi-fi, energy, and electricity made it difficult to post so I told myself that would be one of the first things I did when I got home. Then of course, when I got home I was exhausted and backlogged on a million things and before I knew it two months had passed.
But the truth is, I needed time. And it wasn't, as I think you might assume, because meeting trafficking survivors was so traumatic. It was difficult at times but also joyful. It was more about everything all together - a long voyage, a new culture, new people, intense activity, and me meeting my physical and emotional edge over and over again. It was a lot to process.
A butterfly streamer I brought home from Nepal.
Surprisingly, the most difficult thing for me was how upset I was about the things I had learned about myself. And that seemed so self absorbed to me that I became even more upset with myself and felt like I had to either share something that was humiliating to me or give you the story you expected. I couldn't figure out how to frame my struggles in a way that didn't make this all about me and was positive. I want this to be about what is happening to women and children in the world and how much they need our support. And then I got these lab results.
Adrenal labs. Green is optimal. Light blue is normal. Black line is me.
I knew I had adrenal fatigue before I went. It's something I have struggled with for years, but these labs are the lowest I have seen. This means I am exhausted most of the time without even doing a single thing and have difficulty processing physical and emotional stress. And this trip was both for me at every turn: it was very hot, I was sick half of the time, there was a lot of stimulation in the form of wild traffic, barking dogs, lots of colors and patterns, disfigured beggars, long hours of emotionally rigorous expressive arts activities, constant social interaction, making connections with people that we had to say emotional goodbyes to at the end of the day, long walking tours, lots of stairs...and frankly, it was all pretty hard for me. And then there was how I responded to hard things. Sometimes I withdrew to my room and watched TV on my ipad and felt totally numb. Sometimes I broke down in tears and didn't think I could deal. Once I lost it so much in the training that I could barely speak. After that incident I actually washed all of my clothes, neatly packed them, went to bed and dreamed that I flew home. I didn't know how to tell you this without thinking I was disappointing you by not giving you the uplifting story I wanted to tell. And I couldn't bring myself to candy coat it or give you a distant recollection of facts with pithy little statements thrown in for effect.
And then I realized this: even though I feel like garbage most of the time, and my capacity has been drastically reduced - I still went. I went because I believed I was meant to go and the speed at which I was ushered onto the team and raised 6K confirmed this to me, especially since my family is in the midst of a difficult time financially and we were not able to use any of our own money for the trip. And even though it was meant for me to experience it did not mean it was going to be all magical all the time, or even most of the time. It was meant for me and it was tough. I showed up anyway. That is the uplifting story. That was how I could inspire you and not bring you down with me complaining about how hard everything was. Because if I could do this, then you can volunteer at that local shelter you've been thinking about or take your own voyage into adventure.
Now that I can see how sharing my experience might benefit you and not just be me unloading a bunch of dung, now I can tell you my story. Which I will begin with the next post because I'm tired and need to stop now.
COMING SOON....PART 2...STAY TUNED
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NEW - FREE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 1: CONVERSATION WITH STEPHANIE GAGOS GOES LIVE 3/21/14!!
Have you wanted to work as a healer but questioned if you were ready or enough?
Do you wish you knew more about working with survivors of sexual assault and human trafficking and what sorts of things you might do to equip yourself?
Have you wondered how you would handle hearing survivors' stories?
I recorded this podcast for you!!
(Actually I recorded it for me, to help me mentally prepare for an upcoming expressive arts work study with survivors of human trafficking. But I am happy to share it with you.)
Listen in as I have conversations with healers experienced with working with sexual assault survivors.
Hear their stories about:
How they got involved and how their work has evolved
How they handle triggering
What their greatest lessons from this experience has been
What they would say to someone who is interested but reluctant
I'm offering them for FREE because I know there are people out there who need it. My hope is that more of us would step forward to serve in this way as a result of listening. I also realize this isn't my usual fare, and the subject is of a sensitive nature, so I'm giving it it's own page (called "Podcast") and offering a separate subscription list below.
In my last post, I shared that I had been accepted to participate in an expressive arts work/study working with survivors of human trafficking in Nepal. A dream come true for me to use my God-given gifts to serve others, particularly vulnerable women and children.
Part of making this dream a reality for me is that I decided to raise funds with an online silent auction. I'm very excited to announce that my "Put a Bid On It" Nepal Benefit Auction is up and running! In fact, it is BLOWING UP!!
Due to the great generosity of my extended network of friends and colleagues, I have been able to list over 60 items and have already raised over $3000!! I've been so busy I hadn't even had a chance to write to you about it here. The most beautiful part of this is that so many people have come forward, from all different backgrounds and faiths and joined with me in this effort. I am feeling very blessed and sense all of you behind me. Thank you for that. Some of the items still up for grabs:
There are several ways you can help me make this auction a success
and this trip a reality:
Consider donating a product or service, I can STILL list items!! This auction has had thousands of page views. This would be a great way for you to promote your business while supporting a great cause.
Reach out to anyone you think might be willing to donate something, especially if you know someone with a following that would draw a crowd. You MUST know SOMEONE! :)
"Put a Bid On It" - take a look at the offerings and see if there is something you might like for yourself or a loved one. Here's the link again http://www.32auctions.com/putabidonit.
Don't feel like buying anything? There's also a donate button on the auction's front page.
Spread the word! Do you know anyone with a heart for survivors of trafficking? Someone interested in the arts or healing? Someone who like to make dreams come true and make the world a better place? Send 'em over!
Last but not least, PRAY. I know that if it's meant to be, it will happen, but I still believe in the power of prayer.
A picture from last year's program. Help me get there!!
Thank you for reading and joining me in this quest. I leave you with a quote from a great woman of faith, who made a tremendous difference in the lives of many ...
A few weeks ago I ecstatically made the announcement that I was invited to join an expressive arts work/study program in Nepal. I was floored by the amount of love, and encouragement that poured in. I really had no idea that I was seen and supported by so many and am so very grateful that you took the time to connect with me. Many have come forward and asked for more information about the trip as well as inquiring about how they can partake of this experience with me. I would love to share this information with you now.
But first, a little back story…
painting by me 1996
I have lived long enough to know that we have all seen dark days. Times when our pain overshadowed our hope and joy. Just like you, I am no stranger to suffering. And at the darkest of times I have received the greatest of blessings. Of course, it’s a process, like the transformation that coal undergoes under vast amounts of pressure over time. And it looks different for all of us, but for me, my process of working through pain and troubles has always involved a few things - conversations, prayer, and creative expression. This is actually how I came to be an artist. I was driven to express feelings that I could put no words to and found release there.
Ever since I discovered what a powerful tool the arts are for me, I have been wanting to share it with others through sharing my own expressions - my art, and leading women and children in the art-making process. Wanting to learn expressive arts therapy is a natural progression of this.
I have also asked myself who needs this the most? Traumatized individuals. The terminally ill. Those who have been abused and neglected. Survivors of human trafficking. So when I saw the opportunity to learn art FROM survivors of human trafficking, I flipped my lid!! Imagine my excitement when I got the news that my application had been accepted!
May 24 - June 7 2014, I will be participating in a unique expressive arts therapy work/study program led by Harambee Arts, a non-profit organization that partners with grassroots programs in Africa and Nepal in the training of local caregivers to provide healing art programs for vulnerable women and children.
During our two-week stay, we will be lodging in a charming guesthouse in Boudhanath located on the grounds of a Tibetan Monastery, in Kathmandu, Nepal. The first week of the program we will be trained in the Harambee Arts methodology by survivors of trafficking and their support staff. During the second week, we will work directly with Nepali girls in safe houses as well as other groups which may include orphans, and children with cancer or disabilities.
The training covers key elements of practice, including:
How to introduce the work effectively in crisis situations with diverse populations
Best practices in creating a safe space for participants to heal, especially when they have no sense of safety
Creating community to allow everyone to be heard and valued
Using multiple art forms - including dance/movement, visual arts, storytelling, and drama - as transformative healing modalities
Strategies for planning, organizing, communicating and creating effective workshops and interventions.
Much of this activity will be very emotionally intense, so in between we will go for hikes, shopping, and visit sites of cultural interest.
How this trip will help me further my goals…
After my return from Nepal, I will apply my new knowledge and experience in my volunteer work at a local safe house. Between now and when I depart for the work/study program, I will undergo a 40 hour volunteer training with Freedom House, a local non-profit organization with two safe houses in the bay area that provide survivors of human-trafficking with long-term aftercare. I believe the combination of these two experiences will provide me with the tools I need to do this work. Beyond serving trafficked individuals, I will also be able to conduct one-on-one interventions and create workshops and retreats applying expressive arts as a healing tool for enrichment and personal growth.
Where you come in…
As you can imagine, this is an ambitious undertaking. I could really use all the support I can get. There are several ways you can participate:
PRAY - pray that I will be able to raise all of the funds necessary (approx $4500) by March 31st, that I will be able to work out all of the details (particularly the visa and child care), that I (and all other participants) will be physically and emotionally strong in the face of the rigors of this trip, for the safety of all involved, and that we would all be teachable in spirit and return with greater compassion and hope.
SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER - as much as possible I will be documenting this journey and would love for you all to come along. If you sign up for my newsletter you will automatically be e-mailed any updates.
DONATE - if you feel called to give just click the paypal button below. No amount is too small. Everything helps. Also, if you would like to donate an art piece or a product or service, I will be holding a fundraising auction in the next few weeks. Please e-mail at smshammack[at]gmail[dot]com or FB message me and let me know 1. what you are wanting to donate 2. a picture of the item 3. a minimum bid 4.your contact information (this will not be published but will be provided to the winner).
SHARE - please feel free to share this information with anyone you feel might be interested. You'll find some snazzy buttons below so you can share this on twitter, facbook, pinterest, or in an e-mail. The more we spread the word the better!
Finally, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being part of my support team. I couldn’t do this without you!!
